She Put The President On eBay

That was the first and only time I've met a president. I considered having the program framed, but that didn't feel right; it reminded me of a souvenir from a crime scene. I wondered what I'd say to people when they came over and saw it framed. I logged on to eBay, looking to rid myself of my memories of this disastrous president -- to make some money off him after all he has cost us.

On eBay, I was surprised to find only about two-dozen items with George Jr.'s signature on them for sale (there were more items signed by his father). One was an autographed, color photograph of the president with Boston Red Sox pitching ace Curt Schilling, taken during the team's visit to the White House after winning the 2004 World Series.

Schilling is dressed in a power suit, complete with an American flag pin in his lapel. I found myself imagining him campaigning for some elected office, winning voters in the heartland with his heroic story of the games he pitched and won in that bloody sock. Great superficial biography. And he clearly foresaw the coming power of lapel pins. The seller wanted $298 for Schilling with Bush, who is almost grimacing in the photo as he holds up his honorary No. 43 jersey. There were no bids. I wasn't surprised.

Another seller was asking $2,499 for a laminated bookmark from Bethany Elementary School in Beaverton, Oregon, which Bush had apparently autographed on a campaign stop in September 2000. Two thousand five hundred bucks for a bookmark left behind? I wondered what was so special about it, other than the fact that it came out of the unprecedented 2000 race. Had Bush also read to the students then from My Pet Goat?
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